~3 min read
Ps Paul Cheng
1 Corinthians 13:5d
“…to be willing to forgive….”
1 Corinthians 13:5d, Charity thinketh no evil.
The word thinketh is an accounting term, meaning to reckon or to take into account. In other words, love does not keep a record of the wrong done to us, and it does not harbour ill feelings toward those who have us wrong.
Do you keep a record of the hurts done to you? Do you hold grudges? It does not mean that we have absolutely no memory of the things done to us. That is not how memory works. We are still conscious of those things, and we can still remember those things. What it means is to be willing to forgive.
In Matthew 18:21, Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Jesus saith unto him, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Jesus meant indefinitely. He went on to give the illustration of the servant who owed the king 10,000 talents, and was forgiven of the huge debt. Another servant owed that servant one hundred pence, however, and the latter caught hold of him, choked him by the throat, and threw him into prison until he paid up the small debt. The equivalent of 10,000 talents to 100 pence is about 7 million dollars and a few dollars. Then the king came and said to him, “I forgave you of all the debts - shouldn’t you also have compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” The king was so angry that he delivered the ungrateful servant to the tormentors until he paid up all that was due. The moral of the story is this, Jesus said, So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses (Matthew 18:25).
When we consider our salvation and the enormous, unparalleled debt we owed to God, according to His standards of justice we deserved to lose everything - including our soul - to pay it off. He forgave all our debts. How can we not forgive another person of his or her sins against us?
When we say we forgive a fellow brother or sister in Christ, it does not mean that reconciliation will take place immediately. It takes only one party to forgive, but it takes two for reconciliation to take place. If the offending party does not want to repent, or does not want to receive forgiveness, reconciliation cannot take place. A wife may be willing to forgive her adulterous husband, but if he does not want to repent and feels that he has not done anything wrong, as willing to forgive as the wife may be, reconciliation cannot take place. Regardless, the point is that we must be willing to forgive - the first step.
Are you someone who keeps a record of the hurts done to you? Or are you someone who is quick to forgive the people who have sinned against you? Ask yourself these few questions and you will know the answer;
- Are you able to pray for the person who has done you wrong? Take the person who has offended you in the worst possible way you can think of. Someone who has hurt you most deeply, and try to pray for him or her genuinely. Pray for his redemption. Pray for a change of heart. Pray for reconciliation. Pray for the situation to change. If you cannot do that, you know in your heart that you have not forgiven the person. One of the clearest signs of unforgiveness is the inability to pray for the person.
- Have you always been bringing up the past issues? You find yourself always repeating the same struggles again and again. Our minds are not like the computer whereby we can delete all the memory in the hard-drive, but to find ourselves constantly repeating the old issues again and again is surely a telling sign that we have not forgiven the person.
- Have you been telling others negative things about the person who has offended you? Slanders and gossip are good indicators of an unforgiving spirit because they are meant to destroy the person/s with words.
Sometimes when a husband and wife get into an argument, one party may pull out a list of the things that the other has done in the past (or vice-versa). “This is not the only wrong thing you have done. Do you remember what you did the last time? Do you remember you did this and that?” This is an indication that those past issues have not been forgiven.
Having said that, it does not mean that we are not to speak about past issues. We can discuss those past issues in a constructive way. Deep in our hearts, we must have love which thinketh no evil, and we must want to better the relationship.
1 CORINTHIANS 13The Qualities Of Love (Part 1) — Love Suffereth LongThe Qualities Of Love (Part 1) — Love Suffereth Long1 Corinthians 13:4a
Introduction To The Qualities Of LoveIntroduction To The Qualities Of Love1 Corinthians 13
What Has Love Got To Do With Spiritual Gifts?What Has Love Got To Do With Spiritual Gifts?1 Corinthians 13:1-3
The Qualities Of Love (Part 2) — Love Is KindThe Qualities Of Love (Part 2) — Love Is KindCorinthians 13:4b
The Qualities Of Love (Part 5) — Love Is Not Puffed UpThe Qualities Of Love (Part 5) — Love Is Not Puffed Up1 Corinthians 13:4e
The Qualities Of Love (Part 4) — Love Vaunteth Not ItselfThe Qualities Of Love (Part 4) — Love Vaunteth Not Itself1 Corinthians 13:4d
The Qualities Of Love (Part 3) — Love Envieth NotThe Qualities Of Love (Part 3) — Love Envieth NotCorinthians 13:4c
The Qualities Of Love (Part 9) — Love Thinketh No EvilThe Qualities Of Love (Part 9) — Love Thinketh No Evil1 Corinthians 13:5d
The Qualities Of Love (Part 7) — Love Is Not SelfishThe Qualities Of Love (Part 7) — Love Is Not Selfish1 Corinthians 13:5b
The Qualities Of Love (Part 8) — Love Is Not Easily ProvokedThe Qualities Of Love (Part 8) — Love Is Not Easily Provoked1 Corinthians 13:5c
The Qualities Of Love (Part 6) — Love Does Not MisbehaveThe Qualities Of Love (Part 6) — Love Does Not Misbehave1 Corinthians 13:5a
The Qualities Of Love (Part 10) — Love Rejoiceth Not In IniquityThe Qualities Of Love (Part 10) — Love Rejoiceth Not In Iniquity1 Corinthians 13:6a
The Qualities Of Love (Part 11) — Love Rejoiceth In The TruthThe Qualities Of Love (Part 11) — Love Rejoiceth In The Truth1 Corinthians 13:6b
The Qualities Of Love (Part 15) — Love Endureth All ThingsThe Qualities Of Love (Part 15) — Love Endureth All Things1 Corinthians 13:7d
The Qualities Of Love (Part 14) — Love Hopeth All ThingsThe Qualities Of Love (Part 14) — Love Hopeth All Things1 Corinthians 13:7c
The Qualities Of Love (Part 12) — Love Bears All ThingsThe Qualities Of Love (Part 12) — Love Bears All Things1 Corinthians 13:7a
The Qualities Of Love (Part 13) — Love Believeth All ThingsThe Qualities Of Love (Part 13) — Love Believeth All Things1 Corinthians 13:7b
The Permanence Of LoveThe Permanence Of Love1 Corinthians 13:8-13