Colossians 3:13
~17 min read
TRANSCRIPT
I greet you in the blessed name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Our text for this morning's message is taken from Colossians chapter 3:13. “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
To forbear is to endure and not retaliate in spite of persecutions, difficulties, and struggles. Christians are to forbear and be forgiving to anyone, both believers and unbelievers. But here the Apostle Paul was speaking in the context of the church, the believers. Remember in verse 11 he said, “Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.”
The greatest barrier was between the Greeks and Jews, who were separated by the overwhelming racial differences, and they had absolutely nothing to do with each other. On top of that, the educated Jews and Greeks looked down on the barbarians and Scythians. The word barbarians was a term used to demean people, to describe people who were uneducated and uncivilised. Scythians were a nomadic and warlike people known for their cruelty.
The word bond is a reference to the slaves, and the word free is a reference to those who were not slaves or masters. A fellowship between the Greeks and Jews, and between them and the barbarians and Scythians, was unthinkable if not impossible.
Yet that was precisely what happened in the church at Colosse. All because of Christ. “But Christ is all, and in all.” He dwells in all believers, and therefore we are all equal. He breaks down all racial, cultural, and social barriers and makes the believers as new creatures in him.
It does not mean that the Greeks became Jews, or the Jews became Greeks, or the barbarians and Scythians all of a sudden became educated and civilised. It does not mean that just as Galatians 3:28 said, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”
It does not mean that the slaves became masters and masters became slaves, or the males became females and the females became males. They still retained their races, genders, and cultures. It was a reference to their spiritual standing before God. There was no spiritual difference because they all shared the same rights and privileges.
This is how you and I should perceive one another in the church with all our differences in race, culture, social standings, genders, and upbringings. We may encounter difficult situations or experience difficult people in the church. But we need to see beyond all these difficulties and into the lives of each and every individual in whom the Spirit of Christ dwells.
We are all children of God belonging to the same spiritual family. This mutual forbearance must extend to mutual forgiveness. And this is what we want to learn for today's message: Lessons about forgiveness. If we are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us, then we ought to learn about forgiveness from the Lord Jesus Christ himself. Therefore, we want to consider the teaching of Christ in Matthew chapter 18, verse 21–22. Very familiar passage to most of you. Allow me to read.
Matthew 18:21–22 :“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
In the preceding verses, Jesus was teaching his disciples about discipline, how they ought to approach the sinning brethren, beginning with one-on-one. You confront him privately. If he does not repent, you bring two or three brethren with you as witnesses, as well as to encourage him to repent. If he does not repent, you go to the church. And if he still does not repent, you treat him as a pagan, someone who is an unbeliever, someone who does not want to subject himself to biblical discipline.
If no amount of biblical counsels can turn him around, and if he behaves like someone who wants nothing to do with biblical counsel, then he ought to be treated as one. That speaks of excommunication. Nobody wants to be excommunicated from the church. So it is natural for a true genuine believer to repent at the very first step when he is being confronted of his sin one-on-one.
But as we are all creatures of nature, what if we encounter someone who is confronted, repents, forgiven, and commits again? Confronted, repents, forgiven, commits again, confronted, repents, forgiven, and it goes on and on and on. So how many times must we keep on forgiving?
Perhaps Peter knew in his heart that he would also fall into sin again and again. Therefore he asked this question, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?” In other words, does forgiveness have a limit? Do you say to someone, well, you have gone too far. I have already forgiven you five times. That's it. You have gone beyond the limit. Is there a limit to our forgiveness?
Peter said seven times. Maybe he was waiting for Jesus to congratulate him. Marvelous Peter, well done. You are so gracious. You are willing to forgive seven times. According to the Jewish traditions, you forgive a person three times. That's the limit. You do not forgive the person the fourth time. There is a reason why they do that.
In Amos chapter 1, God said that he has forgiven Damascus three times, but the fourth time he will not turn away his punishment. Likewise, God said that he has forgiven Gaza and Edom three times, and the fourth time he will not turn away his punishment. So the Jews believed that if God would set his forgiveness limit to three times, then man should not go beyond him, because no man is greater than God. So you can only forgive three times. That's the limit.
But that was a misinterpretation of the Scriptures. Jesus was simply stating a fact on how he had dealt with those nations. He was not setting a limit for forgiveness. Having spent three years with Jesus, Peter had learned much about him: how merciful, loving, gracious, kind, and forgiving he was. So he thought Christ's love and his limit of forgiveness must go beyond the Jewish tradition, maybe double the number of times. And seven is also a perfect number. So what about seven times?
Whatever be the motivation behind Peter suggesting seven times, it is easy for us to be critical about him. How can he forgive only seven times? But the reality is that many of us are not willing to forgive even once, let alone seven times. And often times, even for the most trivial of all matters, we are unwilling to forgive. May God forgive us.
I. Forgiveness Does Not Mean Reconciliation
Firstly, we must understand that forgiveness does not automatically mean reconciliation. In order for reconciliation to take place, there must be repentance on the part of the transgressor and forgiveness on the part of the one being transgressed against. There had to be two parties involved. For example, a husband commits adultery and repents, the wife may not forgive, and there can be no reconciliation. Or if a husband commits adultery and refuses to repent, the wife may forgive, but there can be no reconciliation unless he repents.
Please turn with me to the Gospel of Luke chapter 17:3–4. Allow me to read verse 3 and 4. Jesus said, “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.”
Take note of the process of the discipline. The brother has sinned against you. You confront and rebuke him. He repents. You forgive. And then reconciliation can take place. As much as we hope for reconciliation to take place, it can only happen when there is repentance. What happens if the brother or sister refuses to repent? Do you still forgive? Yes, you still forgive.
It takes one to forgive and two to be reconciled. To forgive is to be willing not to take into account what he or she has done to you. Our forgiveness is not predicated by the repentance of the person. We should always forgive. The point is that in order for reconciliation to take place, there must be both repentance and forgiveness.
II. Forgiveness Works In Our Best Interest
Secondly, forgiveness works in our best interest. Whenever we think about forgiveness, we tend to think only of how beneficial it is to the transgressor. Most certainly it is emotionally and spiritually beneficial for the person to be forgiven, because forgiveness frees him from the guilt of his sin.
When you have done something wrong to someone and you realise it, how do you feel? You feel this enormous sense of guilt toward that person, right? And until you make right with that person, or until that person says to you, I forgive you, you will continue to live with this guilt hanging over your head.
So as believers we do not want people to carry this guilt. So we not only forgive them in our hearts, but we also articulate in words as best as we can that we have truly forgiven you. Be released from this guilt of your sin. But very seldom we consider how beneficial it is for us, or the one who is doing the forgiving.
Someone once said, what does it take a believer to forgive? The answer is it takes the best of a believer, in terms of his spiritual character, to forgive. Allow me to briefly explain this. If you want to see the best of a believer's spiritual character, what will you be looking for?
You want to look for the best Christian father or mother, the best Christian preacher, the best Sunday school teacher. You will be looking for his services, his attendances, how regular he is, how prayerful he is, how much Bible knowledge he has, how he is able to speak and articulate God's truth. Though all these spiritual activities may help us to ascertain a person's spiritual character, however, if all of a sudden you see this unforgiving spirit in him, all this spiritual character and activities will mean nothing.
Whenever we remember Joseph in the Bible, we remember how forgiving he was toward his brothers. Whenever we remember David, we remember how forgiving he was toward King Saul. Whenever we remember Stephen, the first Christian martyr, we remember his willingness to forgive even those who put him to death. We remember them for their willingness to forgive.
If you want to see the believer at his best, reflecting the character of God, it is the moment when he forgives someone. It takes a great deal of a person's character, spiritual character, to forgive. Forgiveness not only brings out the best in us, it also releases us from the sins and burdens of being unforgiving. When we refuse to forgive, we become slaves of our unforgiving spirit. We would become bitter, angry, hateful, spiteful, jealous, etc.
One theologian quoted this story about how sin enslaves and forgiveness frees. Allow me to quote him. A little boy visited his grandparents and he was given a slingshot. He practised in the woods, but he could never hit the target. As he came back to Grandma's backyard, he saw her pet duck. On an impulse, he took aim and let it fly. The stone hit and killed the duck. The boy panicked. Desperately, he hid the dead duck in the bushes, only to look up and see his sister watching. His sister Susan had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After lunch that day, Grandma said, “Susan, let's wash the dishes.” But Susan said, “Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today.” Then turning to him, she said, whispering, “Remember the duck?” So Johnny did the dishes. Later, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Susan smiled and said, “Yes, Johnny too.” But Grandma said, “I'm sorry. I need Susan to help make supper.” Susan immediately said, “That's all taken care of. Johnny wants to do it again.” She whispered to her brother, “Remember the duck?” Johnny stayed behind while Susan went fishing.
After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Susan's as well, finally he could bear it no longer. He confessed to Grandma that he had killed the duck. “I know, Johnny,” she said, giving him a hug. “I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I'm willing to forgive you. I was just wondering how long you would let Susan make a slave out of you.”
Though this is about the person seeking forgiveness, I think it is a good illustration of how sometimes we let the sin of unforgiveness make a slave out of us. The earlier we know this truth, the earlier we release ourselves from this bondage, the better it is. With an unforgiving spirit, you and I will become bitter, angry, hateful, spiteful, jealous, envious, and so forth. We must not let an unforgiving spirit make a slave out of us.
III. Forgiveness Has No Limit
Now, what was Jesus' answer to Peter's question about how many times? This brings us to our third point: forgiveness has no limit. Verse 22: “Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Seventy times seven means 490 times.
Firstly, it is questionable if a single person can sin against you 490 times. And it is even more impossible if the person were to sin against you in the same offence 490 times. And according to the Gospel of Luke chapter 17:4, they all happened in one day. Even if all that is possible, the number is so large that you would just lose count.
I live in Clayton South, and once I walked from my house to Springvale. I tried to mentally count the number of steps I needed to take to Springvale. As I started to count, I soon lost count of it. Was it 1,300 or 1,400 steps? After I lost count a couple of times, I gave up counting altogether and I walked until I got tired. You cannot really count up to 490 times. You will surely lose count.
When Peter said seven times, Jesus simply picked up on Peter's number, multiplied it by ten and then by seven. In reality, Jesus was saying there was no limit to your forgiveness. Why is there no limit to forgiveness? It is because the forgiveness we receive from God for our sins is infinite.
As the last part of Colossians 3:13 said, if any man have a quarrel against any, which means if you have a complaint or any complaints against anyone who has offended you, you forgive even as Christ forgave you. Dear friend, consider our lives from the moment we were born until we were saved. And even after our salvation, we are still sinning. Right?
Sin is first and foremost a transgression against God. Whether in our speech, or in our deeds, or in our thoughts, we sin against God. Maybe we have sinned less after our salvation, but we are not sinless. We do commit sins. Can you imagine if God were to take an account of every one of our sins? One time, twice, three times, seven times, 490 times. That's it. I will not forgive you. We will be finished. We will be eternally lost.
But in Christ Jesus, all our sins, past, present, and future, are forgiven in him. How then can we be unforgiving toward our brothers and sisters in the church? That is why Jesus went on to speak of the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:23–35. We will not go into the details of the parable because it is self-explanatory.
You have a king and he has a kingdom and many servants. It is a picture of God, his heavenly kingdom, with many children, the Christians. One servant owed the king 10,000 talents. The original Greek word for 10,000 is from where we get the English word myriad, which means countless. The word talent depends on what it was referring to. One talent of silver is about 100. One talent of gold is about 200. In other words, it was an enormous debt.
And the servant knew that it was impossible for him to pay that enormous debt. The only way to get out of the predicament is for the king to forgive him. And the king had compassion on him and forgave him. This is an illustration of the magnitude of our sins. God knows the number of sins we have committed. Even we ourselves cannot remember.
Some of our sins are very clear, like when we lie, we steal, we cheat. At other times it is not that obvious, like we do not give glory to God. We do not honour his name. We do not put him as the priority of our lives. The point is that every day of our lives we sin against God. This is like the enormous debt the servant owed to the king. Ten thousand talents — impossible to pay.
Yet our God said to the believers in Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.” All our sins, past, present, and future, are forgiven all because of Jesus Christ. God forgave us.
Now the servant had a fellow servant, just like we Christians have fellow Christians around us. And this fellow servant owed him a hundred pence, which was about one day's wage. In today's term, it could be about $200–$300 depending on the vocation. And he pleaded with him to have mercy. But the former was unwilling, and he threw him into prison until he was able to repay the debt.
That was outrageous — to be forgiven so much, 10,000 talents, an enormous debt he was impossible to repay, and yet unwilling to forgive so little. Verse 31 says, “So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.”
So there is this Christian who has been forgiven so much, and yet he was offended by one of the family members, the fellow Christian he will not forgive. All the other Christians who belong to the same covenant family were troubled, and they cried out to God. This is a picture of the believers praying for God to intervene. And what did God do?
IV. Unforgiveness Has Serious Consequences
This brings us to our final point: Unforgiveness has serious consequences. Verses 32–35: “Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”
What happens if we are unwilling to obey God to forgive? Are there consequences? Yes. Is it possible for Christians to fall into the sin of being unforgiving? Most certainly. In the same way you will not forgive your brothers, God will do likewise to you.
Does that mean that you will lose your salvation if you fail to forgive? As Christians, our salvation is not subjected to our ability to forgive. If we truly believe, we are saved, and for all eternity we will not lose our salvation.
So in what sense? If we do not forgive the trespasses of others, God will not forgive our trespasses. As Christians, if we do not forgive someone, two things will take place.
Firstly, we will not experience the fullness of God's forgiveness in terms of communion, in terms of fellowship, and in terms of joy. Have you ever prayed, read the Bible, and worship when you have an unforgiving spirit? When there is someone whom you are angry with and refuse to forgive, you will not let go. You cannot fully immerse yourself into prayers, reading the Bible, and worshipping God. You may go through the routines, but it is just a dry routine and you cannot savour the spiritual blessings. This is what unforgiveness can do to us.
Secondly, we will not only not experience the fullness of God's communion, fellowship, and joy, we will also receive his discipline. If we are true believers and God knows that one of his children is lacking in this area of forgiveness, he will refine that person in that part of his life. We will be chastised and disciplined because God loves us, and he wants us to savour all the spiritual blessings he has in store for us, not to let this unforgiving spirit hinder us. So when we do not forgive someone, we will not experience the full joy of salvation. We will not lose our salvation if we are true believers, but we will lose the joy of our salvation, and we will also be chastised by God.
Dear friend, perhaps there is someone whom you are unwilling to forgive, and because of that there is bitterness, anger, hatred, spite, jealousy, and envy in your heart. That is the consequence of being unforgiving. You are holding on to that burden. Let forgiveness release it.
We may be saved. We may not lose our salvation. But because of our unforgiving spirit, many have lost the joy of their salvation — no true communion, fellowship, and joy. We will continue to live such a life until we are willing to forgive. That is what Jesus said. God will hold it against us to refine us, to make us realise that we must forgive. And until we forgive, we will hold on to all these burdens.
Why do you and I want to live such a life? Let us be forgiving. Let not only God but others see the best in us, that we are willing to say, “I forgive,” and release ourselves from the sins and burdens of being unforgiving, and then savour true communion with God, true fellowship with the believers, and true spiritual joy. These are the lessons about forgiveness. May the Lord help us to apply this truth into our lives.
Let us pray. Our Father in heaven, indeed it is important for us as believers to be reminded of the magnitude of our sins, and how like the parable given by our Lord Jesus, the servant who owed the king 10,000 talents, an enormous debt that is impossible for us to repay.
The penalty of sins we can never pay. Even a lifetime of work cannot help us anything. Only through the blood of Jesus Christ and through faith in Him all our sins, past, present, and future, are forgiven. All because Thou hast compassion on us. And we who are forgiven much, how can we then demonstrate such unforgiving spirit toward others, whether in the church or even out there in the world? God forbids.
O Lord, we are reminded that often times we are the ones who allow all these baggages to lay hold on us, and we carry the burdens and sins of being unforgiving. With that cometh hatred, jealousy, spite, bitterness, anger, and so forth. Why would we want to live such a life? Thou hast taught us, let go of all these things. And it is only through forgiving that we are able to do so.
May the Spirit of God touch our hearts, convict us, and grant us the spiritual character to be able to say with all truthfulness, I forgive whenever there are trespasses against us, all to the glory of thee. We pray all this in Jesus' name. Amen.
THE BOOK OF COLOSSIANSA Faith And Love That ShinesA Faith And Love That ShinesColossians 1:1-4
The Blessedness Of Our Christian HopeThe Blessedness Of Our Christian HopeColossians 1:5-6a
The Transforming Power Of The GospelThe Transforming Power Of The GospelColossians 1:6b-8
The Need For PrayersThe Need For PrayersColossians 1:9
Prayer for Spiritual ExcellencePrayer for Spiritual ExcellenceColossians 1:9-12
Walk Worthy Of The LordWalk Worthy Of The LordColossians 1:10-11
What Does It Mean To Call God Our Father?What Does It Mean To Call God Our Father?Colossians 1:12a
What Does It Mean To Be Citizens Of God’s Kingdom?What Does It Mean To Be Citizens Of God’s Kingdom?Colossians 1:12b-13
I Am Redeemed And ForgivenI Am Redeemed And ForgivenColossians 1:14
Christ, The Invisible GodChrist, The Invisible GodColossians 1:15
Jesus Our Creator Loves Me, This I KnowJesus Our Creator Loves Me, This I KnowColossians 1:16-17; Romans 8:37-39
What Is Christ’s Relationship With The Church?What Is Christ’s Relationship With The Church?Colossians 1:18
What Does It Mean To Be Reconciled To God?What Does It Mean To Be Reconciled To God?Colossians 1:19-22
The Evidence Of Our SalvationThe Evidence Of Our SalvationColossians 1:23a
Are We Willing To Suffer For Christ?Are We Willing To Suffer For Christ?Colossians 1:23b-24
How Faithful Are We?How Faithful Are We?Colossians 1:25-27
What Does It Take To Be Faithful In The Ministry?What Does It Take To Be Faithful In The Ministry?Colossians 1:28-29
The Indispensable Component In Serving GodThe Indispensable Component In Serving GodColossians 2:1-2a
This Is What I Wish For You To Have And To BeThis Is What I Wish For You To Have And To BeColossians 2:2b-5
Message 3: What is Christ to you? My Covenantal Head!Message 3: What is Christ to you? My Covenantal Head!Colossians 2:4-9, 19
The Evidence Of Our SalvationThe Evidence Of Our SalvationColossians 2:6-7
Message 4: What is a healthy and sound church? My Covenantal Haven!Message 4: What is a healthy and sound church? My Covenantal Haven!Colossians 2:7
Our Spiritual Union With ChristOur Spiritual Union With ChristColossians 2:11-12
Message 2: What is Church to you? My Covenantal Family!Message 2: What is Church to you? My Covenantal Family!Exodus 12:48-49, Colossians 2:11-12
What It Means To Be ForgivenWhat It Means To Be ForgivenColossians 2:13-14
Faith In Christ Is The VictoryFaith In Christ Is The VictoryColossians 2:15
The Danger Of Being LegalisticThe Danger Of Being LegalisticColossians 2:16-17
The Danger Of Spiritual DeceptionThe Danger Of Spiritual DeceptionColossians 2:18-19
The Vanity Of Self-Denial To Achieve SpiritualityThe Vanity Of Self-Denial To Achieve SpiritualityColossians 2:20-23
Seek Those Things Which Are AboveSeek Those Things Which Are AboveColossians 3:1-2
What Does It Mean To Be In Christ?What Does It Mean To Be In Christ?Colossians 3:3-4
Mortification Of SinMortification Of SinColossians 3:5-7
Put Off All These ThingsPut Off All These ThingsColossians 3:8-9
Put On The New ManPut On The New ManColossians 3:10-11
Recipes For A God-Honouring ChurchRecipes For A God-Honouring ChurchColossians 3:12
Lessons About Forbearance And ForgivenessLessons About Forbearance And ForgivenessColossians 3:13
United In Love And Ruled By God’s PeaceUnited In Love And Ruled By God’s PeaceColossians 3:14-15
Filled With The Spirit In Word And SongsFilled With The Spirit In Word And SongsColossians 3:16
God’s Instructions For The Family — The Christian WifeGod’s Instructions For The Family — The Christian WifeColossians 3:17-18; Ephesians 5:22-24
God’s Instructions For The Family — The Christian HusbandGod’s Instructions For The Family — The Christian HusbandColossians 3:19; Ephesians 5:25-33
Human Wisdom Versus God’s WisdomHuman Wisdom Versus God’s WisdomColossians 2:8-10
